we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
