I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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