I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
