According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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