i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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