matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
