let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
