I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
"it" just moved
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
