omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
