So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
