TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
