Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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