I will die if light touches me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
