Pappa wants mamma naked
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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