why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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