So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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