I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
