i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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