his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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