I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
