so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize