so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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