You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
