Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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