I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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