they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
