i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
