I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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