You're my little dorito
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
