I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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