I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
