Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
