oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
