i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
