I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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