____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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