I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
