dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
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I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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