Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
