ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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