i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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