it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
