Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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