plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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