i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
