i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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