Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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