oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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