??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
