Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.