your thong is hanging out like whoa
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?