dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.