Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You don't make any sense
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