genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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