The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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