3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
that is very illegal...i love you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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