HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
