Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We talked him into tasing himself.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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