Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
