Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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