trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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