he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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